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Buffy Summers
Y'know, I'm starting to think those bad dreams weren't just dreams. He's leaving. They're leaving. Giles, Will, Tara. They say they're thinking about it, but I know. The Watchers Council Headquarters was destroyed and Giles has to go be all savior-ish and rebuild it. Because losing the Watchers Council is such a waste. Willow and Tara are going to go with him, help him.

Nevermind we're living on an active hellmouth, hey, let's go to England and make merry. Nevermind they brought me back from the dead, hey, let's abandon Buffy. She's a slayer, she can handle it. It'll be funny.

I know, I'm making this all about me. The Watcher Council's gone, who knows how many people, and all I can think is why is this happening to me? I can't help it. After you spend eight years protecting these people, you start to wonder when you get your kickbacks. They pulled me out of heaven so I could stay in this town, with them, and now they're leaving.

And I am happy, for them, that they get to go to England and start this whole new chapter in their lives. See the world, rebuild the Council into something not the bane of my existence, have a chance at their own lives. I am. It's just...it hurts. There's nothing I can do to change this or make it better. I have to let them go, and be there for Dawny.

Just sometimes I still wish they would've let me stay dead.

Current Mood: sad sad
Current Music: Not Scared, Terrified - The Servant

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Nightmares: A lot
Buffy: 0

Is there a sandman demon? A boogey man demon? I'm not talking about that creepy thing from the hospital--so hate that place--but there has to be something demonic behind these dreams. Or slayerific. I've been having crazy bad dreams for week or so; the kind that are too real to be just dreams. I've had scary slayer dreams before, but this is...deeper. Darker. Maybe I'm just afraid that whatever these dreams are, they are of the future. I mean, this is the stuff of nightmares, literally!

Over and over I see myself clawing my way out of my grave again. Will keeps bringing back from the dead, even though she knows...*shakes her head* Once I'm out of my coffin, I see everyone dead. I hate to sound like philosophy 101 here, but what does this all mean? Other dreams, I've lost my powers again, and I can't save anyone. I actually try to resurrect them.

Spike's tried to be helpful, but he's not so much with the sleeping himself. Whatever he's dreaming about, it isn't pretty. It's not fair he gets that whole being the undead thing where he can avoid sleep. I've died twice, can't I be insomnia gal, too?

I heard there was a memorial Saturday for everyone who didn't make it in the last big apocalypse. Ya patrol that side of town long enough, word from Ralph's gets to you before most people. I was much with the not attending. Didn't feel much like celebrating the memory of anything from that time period. My slayer skills were kinda lacking then, and there was much bar hopping taking place. Doesn't really go great in my memory book.

I love Will, and she just came back from LA with Tara after helping to save everyone from a Power Gone Bad, but I feel a little...weird around her. And everyone really. Xan, Anya, Tara. *shrugs* I know it's just the dreams, but I can't help hearing her say it. "Don't worry, I'll bring you back, Buffy." Until I can stop reliving my exciting experience as a waking corpse, I can't stop freaking a little. It's not something I'd mention, just...a feeling. It has nothing to do with them, really, just I'm a jumpy Buffy.

And kinda cranky. No sleep make Buffy slay-ey...slay-ey. Vampires beware, you're not the only thing not sleeping at night. When I can't sleep, I slay. At least if vamps are dust, they'll stay dead. Dead dead.

Current Mood: cranky cranky
Current Music: Drug Like - Action Action

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Sunnydale strikes again. Maddy called earlier about a missing persons' case, and chosen gal I am, I'm packed up and looking for Tristan and friend. If I stake some vamps on my way out, hey, bonus for everyone.

It's cold out and I'm so wishing I'd have realized that coats are of the good, when I notice I'm walking in front of an old brick house. Kinda mansiony. Obviously, the thing's been here for a while, but have I ever noticed it before? Nada. I turn away and make one step before swinging around and running toward the house. A girl screamed inside. If I'm a lucky Buffy, that'll be Tristan's girlfriend. The door turns out to be unlocked, and cautiously I step instead. The lights are on. Somebody's gotta be home. There's whispering all around the house. Somebody's definitely home.

"Um, hello?" I call and, hey, whispering answers with more whispering. Great. The scream seemed to come from upstairs, so up I go, even knowing the badness this is probably gonna be. Seeing no one I keep walking, this place goes on forever, but nothing's here and there isn't anyone answering my calls. Maybe I'm going senile early.

"Buffy!" Dawn? I spin around and slam face first into a wall. A step in reverse, and my back's pressed against something soft...like cushions, my head against a pillow. What the hell? I move my head to the sides and see walls. Not good. I can't tell if I'm standing anymore, I feel like I'm laying flat out, and I'm suffocating in sudden darkness. Oh so not good. Above me, there's soft sounds of crying. Dawnie. Will and Tara. It's like they're at a funeral. Oh God, my funeral. Panicking now! I'm pounding hard on the...ceiling, no. No, it's a coffin. I'm in a coffin. I can't help it, I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out, but no one hears. Not again, I'm not...I couldn't have. Just let me stay, let me stay this time.

"It's okay, Buffy, I'll bring you back." Willow's voice. What's going on? I can't be...and she can't. Willow wouldn't. Not again. She couldn't do that to me. There's dirt around my hands, my fingers are bleeding; soil's in my mouth, my eyes, and then I can finally feel air. Pulling myself out, they're there. All of them. Will, Xan, Giles. On the ground of the house--I'm back--and they're dead. Like me.

Oh God. I'm running, I have to get out of this house. Not after that, I can't stay again. I won't be alright this time. I can't breath, nothing looks the same, dammit. I'm hitting walls, over and over, like some wacko funhouse. Waiting for a demonic clown, any time now. A door, finally, through a door and another, and time's gone crazy, but after one last door, I finally break back into night.

How did I never notice a house like that? Wee, go team me. If I'm this observant, I'll have no trouble finding Tristan and his girlfriend. Yeah, right. Better get this over with. This so had better be an easy find with 100% less bodies. I keep walking.

Current Mood: busy

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I checked in with Dylan to see how everyone was holding up in LA after Brooke's death. He reluctantly voiced some concerns he has about Angel in between his ranting about the powers. There wasn't much I could offer in the way of advice on Angel. Bottom line, Angel gets upset, he goes broody and gets his violence on. Be glad he's managing to keep that soul locked up tight and that he's only going violent on the demons.

It's not that I'm not concerned about them too, but people die. Okay, that sounds harsh, but it's the reality of the world we live in. We can't save them all and it is frustrating, especially when it's someone we know, but you can't let that stop you from keeping with the responsibility that becomes champions and slayers and the people that help them. We get up, dust our stylish yet affordable clothing off and we fight the next baddie that crosses our path.

Researching is of the boring on some days and majorly of the frustrating on the days when you need answers, yet can't seem to catch a break. I told Dylan that I knew he and Wes and everyone else hitting the dusty old books would find their answers, just like I know Faith, Connor, Angel and everyone else hitting the streets will kill the bad guys. No, maybe it won't be the demon that killed Brooke, but they have to pick up and start somewhere.

Spike and I have been taking my advice. We've been much with the patrolling and taking out any baddies that cross our path. Things are kind of calm, but I think that is due to some demons still being scared to leave their crypts and homes because they think they'll break into a song and dance number with me. That works, because it's been giving Spike and me time to talk and reconnect with is always of the good.
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I'm back to the slayery goodness minus the musical accompaniment, thank God. We finally sent the singing demon thing back to where ever it came from. Good, because life is so much easier when I don't have to sing my deep dark secrets in front of the exact people I should NOT sing them to or go up in flames from a really bad tango.

Life in Sunnydale returns to normal. As normal as living on an active hellmouth crawling with demons gets. I went to tell the Spike the news and may or may not have gotten distracted by other less flamey things. Not to say it wasn't hot or noisy...Um. New subject.

Xan just called. Brooke Alexander was killed on set after the movie finished. Angel was guarding her. I didn't know what to tell Xander; this was the first time I'd heard about it. Maybe Giles has heard something. They can't be dealing well in LA, not after all that talk about the Powers playing oh-so-fun games with Cordelia and Destiny.

All the 'Powers this, Powers that' makes me wonder exactly how they run their deal over there. Guess we slay the old fashioned way. Books, swords, and donuts. It'd be nice if we ever got a vision of someone deciding to kill me, kidnap Dawn, and open the Hellmouth. Or not.

Current Mood: surprised surprised
Current Music: If You Feel Better - Emilie Autumn

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Researchy goodness finally paid off. Sort of. It helped that I stopped by to see Giles about some possible leads Willow and Tara came up with. A couple of suspicious minion types showed up in the building looking for Yuffie's mother. A lot of discussion later and we think we have a workable theory.

Yuffie's mom summoned the demon (it's always a demon summoning) and gave the necklace thingy to Mikka as a present (the gift that keeps on giving!) so this demon thought that Mikka summoned him and has taken her hostage. Can I take a moment and say thank God it wasn't Dawnie that got kidnapped this time? Not that I don't want to save Mikka, but normally when a demon is in town and wants to kidnap someone, they go for my little sister.

The plan is to load up tonight and visit the temporary lair where this guy is hiding out. Yuffie and Sgt. Ryan will be going with us Scoobies. I've asked Maddy to sit this one out. Jack will keep an eye on her. Yuffie's girlfriend and his little sister will be going too. Apparently there must be an anti-teleportation spell because other Mikka could have left on her own.

I have a feeling that Yuffie may just offer his mother in trade for his cousin. Um, it's a family matter and I probably shouldn't intrude. Besides, I'll just offer slayer back up power and personally would like to kick the demons ass, but if the only way to defeat him is to send him back with a queen?

Whoever summons him should wear the crown.

Current Mood: determined

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As if the singing, dancing, mortal embarrassment and bonus feature of people sponataneously combusting wasn't fun enough, Connor, Dylan and their team are in town. Turns out the powers decided to send Destiny a vision of Giles and me, possibly the rest of our friends, singing and dancing before one or more of us burst into flames. Oh, not that the powers gave her pictures. Why would she need pictures for a vision, especially one involving us possibly becoming human torches? That would be too easy, right?

We all met up last night and I thankfully managed not to sing to Dylan and Connor about the night none of us better mention or sing about ever. I'd say why couldn't Cordy have gotten the vision, but like having Angel here last time was of the good?

If it wasn't for the flamey consequences of keeping the emotions buried, I'd just duct tape everyone's mouths shut, but that is not an option.

After much discussion and some researching, we decided the best plan of attack was to team up in pairs and load up with the water guns (no holy water since Spike could be at risk) and watch each others backs. Though, Dylan is convinced they aren't at risk and we're the only ones in danger. Yeah, whatever, Angel broke out into song and dance, and you can not tell me the LA group aren't filled with fun repression thoughts of their apocalypse and the other things that happened to them in the past year.

We drew numbers to pair up. Thankfully I didn't get Connor or Dylan, but Dylan got Spike and Anya is with Connor. It's like fate is playing this gigantic cosmic joke on me. Hello, Buffy birthday over, you can cut the town a break now and tell me where the demon is so I can take it out and save on the human fire deaths, thanks.

I'm paired up with Rhia's cousin Alex. oh God. Please tell me he isn't from the succubus part of her family.

Current Mood: cranky cranky

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Nothing like spending a couple of days researching big dusty books to make me feel like I'm climbing the walls. I've been patrolling, but it's mostly to make sure I have a super soaker filled with holy water to spray people down if the need to burst into flames while dancing arises.

Maddy was nearly one of those people. She called me this morning with a hangover to tell me that Spike was the one who found her before she became a walking inferno. I'm glad he was able to save her, but I'm kind of curious about what they talked about when they were sharing his bottle of liquor. Maddy and Spike have never been close buddies. Maybe it isn't a bad thing that they talked though. It's not like Spike and I are having much luck communicating, especially when it turns into duets from hell with snappy dance steps.

So, I've been much with the distracting of my relationship woes by concentrating on researching what demon could be causing the Sunnydale turns into fiery Broadway show town. It's been kind of nice to pull out the books at the Magic Box with Willow, Giles, Xander, Anya and Tara. Like the old days. Even Dawnie has been helping.

She didn't go to the Winter Formal and I didn't press the issue. I totally remember how I wanted to avoid school functions sometimes and the added bonus of having Willow and Tara chaperone? Totally understand where that may have been high on the uncool meter for Dawn. Though, I don't know if having a movie night with her big sister was anymore cool, but I enjoyed it.

Tristan has been hanging around and doing the research thing on his own. I have to agree with Giles that Tristan makes me uneasy. He's got that reckless need for vengeance thing that can get someone killed on the Hellmouth. Plus, he's kind of rude to Giles and that is not cool. I don't care what his sister's watcher was like, Giles is my watcher and I am the only one allowed to get rude with him.

Giles thinks this demon was probably summoned. Yay for summoning demon goodness because that always ends well. I guess I better stop in and see if maybe Captain Jack has any info and compare notes. If people are going to be spontaneously combusting? It's time to bring the Army guys out with the water hoses to help keep the charred bodies to a minimum.

Current Mood: cynical cynical

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Oh yeah, it's been great. Several duets and a love song to my wardrobe later the curse of the birthday is still on. I've been doing my best to stay away from everyone because the last thing I need is to get all expoundy with more people than I already have.

I spent most of my party trying to be elsewhere because you know I just didn't want to know what was going to come out of my mouth at any time. At least I don't sing Manilow like some people I could mention.

I tried to avoid Spike too, I mean I did just have that wonderful sing along with Angel in the Magic Box and I didn't want to talk about it, and apparently the more you don't want to talk about something the more you want to sing about it. So I was being standoffy girlfriend, you know, patrol...hide in the bushes when you see your boyfriend coming kind of thing.

He finally caught up with me and it wasn't pretty.

I really didn't want to do it, but he sang then I sang and now he's all upset and not talking to me...which after the stuff we sang at each other really is kind of for the best.

He doesn't get it, Angel was my first love that's not something that goes away. It's not like that makes all the loves that come after it less or not as good or something lame like that, it's just different.

Now why couldn't I sing stuff like that at him?

Current Mood: cynical cynical
Current Music: no music please!

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Okay, so yeah the birthday disaster has struck, right on time as usual. Ok, it was singing, and dancing! Why couldn't it just be a hell god kicking my ass again? I can take pain, break a couple of limbs please!

No I get a full in broadway musical with Spike in the crypt. String section and spotlights and everything. Which you know where the hell did all that come from?

Walking across town to the Magic Box I saw a bunch of people doing a dance routine in front of the Espresso Pump. It took all my willpower not to join in. I mean they were singing about caffeine and the yummy goodness which is mocha. Sort of something I could get passionate about even on a normal day.

No, must get to Giles and ask about this and how to make it stop. heartfelt duets with my vampire boyfriend will not be happening in public!

Current Mood: embarrassed embarrassed
Current Music: There had better not be any!

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